Is it really over?

Normally being up at 5:45 am isn't so abnormal for me. After all, I have a 2 year old daughter. But for some reason, I haven't slept so well this week. I was sick to my stomach (literally) on Saturday night, up most of the night. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and last night I also haven't slept so well, and this morning I was up at 4:30. And for the most part, it's NOT Carlie's fault! So, why am I having trouble sleeping?

For the past 11 months, I have shared with you my life's journey in Israel. You have grown with me Jewishly, spiritually, personally, as a husband, father, classmate, Jew, and as a human being. And, now, in less than 2 days, I will be back "home" in the United States, ready to begin the next part of the journey. While Rabbinical school is 5 years, the first year in Israel is a journey in and of itself. I remember walking into Nancy Lewitt's (our Director of Student Affairs) office on June 25, 2007 and telling her "I know how this works." What the hell was I thinking? Knowing what I know now, I realize I really knew nothing then.

By no stretch of the imagination do I feel this journey is over. This is just the first "leg." For four more years, I get to learn, develop and grow into a Rabbi. Some say becoming a Rabbi is a life long journey...I tend to agree. But, this year has taught me so much more than I ever could have imagined. While finishing up my exams yesterday I realized just how much I have learned. It truly is amazing. And as far as growth is concerned, I feel this year has given me the opportunities to grow more in one year than the rest of my life put together.

This will be my last post of this part of the journey. I will be renaming my BLOG to "Erin's Journey to become a Rabbi" because I want to continue sharing this journey with you. As the name changes, the blog won't. I will still share with you my thoughts on this journey. I welcome any feedback either on this year's blog entries or on any of my blog entries in the future.

I will end this blog with a quote from one of my classmates:
"This moment is quite surreal. While I know we are saying Goodbye to each other, aren't we really just saying until next time? We'll all see each other again, and we'll ALWAYS be the 2007-2008 Year In Israel class...even when we meet for conventions 20 years from now, this will still be the year we remember!"

Shalom, L'hitraot!!!

My Birthday and our last Shabbat together as a class

Shalom Friends and family!

Well, Friday, May 16 marked the second time in my life in which I spent my birthday in Jerusalem. In 2000, I spent my birthday out with my friend Ian, who also has May 16 as his birthday! That was fun, but this year had a special twist to it. I woke up - Batya let me sleep in to 9:30, and was told I wouldn't have to change a diaper at all that day! Since Carlie had a bit of a stomach bug, it was a VERY special present from Batya!!

After Carlie woke up from her nap, we went to have lunch together at a new Falafel and Shwarma place. It was very good, and it was nice to be able to spend the day with Carlie and Batya! After lunch, we met Julie and Noah at the park, and it was really great to see Noah and Carlie running around together at the park. However, at about 4, a ton of older kids took over the playground, and they really weren't paying attention to Noah and Carlie. So, to avoid anyone getting hurt, we came back to our place to rest and prepare for the last Kabbalat Shabbat for the HUC-JIR Class of 2012 in Jerusalem!

We had a beautiful service led by several of my classmates. All 5 of the Cantorial students helped to lead as well, and they really do sound beautiful together. Several of my classmates were given awards for academics, community service, etc. The highlight of the service, though, was when the President of HUC, who had been in town for Shimon Peres's Presidential conference, and who missed his plane back to the states, addressed our class. He addressed at the beginning of the year, and it was only fitting that we end our time together addressed by him again!

After services, we went to Beit Shmuel, a hotel right next to HUC, and had a catered dinner. While the food was just ok, Batya and I spent most of our time with Carlie who became a little sick part of the time. Thankfully she was ok! Once dinner was over, we went back to the student lounge, the Moadon, for the greatest slide show ever. While I didn't cry (I had expected I would), I was incredibly impressed about the slide show, and extremely happy to have been a part of the HUC Year in Israel 2007-2008 class, the best class in the world! (in Israel)

Exams start tomorrow, and while I am excited to finish them and return to family and friends in the States, I am becoming more and more nostalgic every day. I know I am going to miss so many things, and I am already looking forward to a return to Israel soon, in some way!

Erin

Another "Closing"

Greetings family and friends!

Today was the finale of our Israel Seminar Program. Every Wednesday we have explored Israel from the period of the "New Jew" (the Early Pioneers at the end of the 19 and beginning of the 20th century) to the present day. We have explored so many different aspects of Israeli society. We looked at Israel through the eyes of Jews, Christians, Arab Christians and Arab Muslims. We've been to Israeli Arab towns and to areas still in dispute with Israel's neighbors.

There have been so many interesting experiences that have truly helped to shape not only my relationship with Israel, but the internal conflict that I feel toward Israel. The Israel Seminar has helped to shape and reshape my Jewish identity, religious, spiritual, etc. My political views have changed over and over again as I have lived in Israel this year. Living every day what Americans read in the newspaper has truly been eye opening. When my friends and family read about the terrorists activity at Mirkaz Rav, it was only about a 20 minute walk away from my home.

Every Sunday, we have read the news in Israel from an Israeli newspaper, feeling as if we were a part of that news, and for much of the news, we have been. The Israel Seminar has given me the opportunity to explore so many aspects of being an Israeli and being a Jew. By no means do I feel I have "learned it all." And, while my Hebrew ability has grown so much while being here, I do have much more to learn before I can even think of myself as fluent. But, living in Israel, and the experience of Israel Seminar has given me so many more tools to use when I discuss Israel back at home.

After all, being able to bring Israel back to the States is one of the goals of Israel Seminar. It's not just about my experiences. It's also about my ability to share my experiences and knowledge with friends, family, and future congregants back in the United States. I only hope when we return to the States, I am able to even touch the surface when I begin to teach about Israel and share these experiences.

The end of the Israel Seminar means I am now charged with continuing my Israel experience and education on my own, without the structure of the Israel Seminar. I am excited about these opportunities!

B'Shalom!

Remembering and Never Forgetting

Greetings family and friends. I have been teaching 7th graders about the Holocaust for about 6 years. Every year I learn something new and experience something new. Today was no different. I was given the honor to help create and lead the Yom Hashoah service at HUC this morning. We invited the Israeli Rabbinical Students to join us and one of the students helped us to create the service. I knew today would be hard, but I don't think I was prepared really for the rush of emotion I experienced and continue to experience today.

I have been in Israel during Yom Hashoah before. I have even helped students to grapple with the seriousness and emotion of this day. It's different in America. Our care and remembering is not different in America, but there is something different about being in Israel on this day. As 10:00 A.M. comes around and the siren begins, it's a very hard moment, or moments. As you see all the cars come to a sudden stop and experience all of the drivers getting out of their cars in respect and rememberance...it's an experience you can't and won't experience anywhere else. As a matter of fact, there was a baby who cried from the moment the Siren started until the Siren finished. I couldn't help but think how appropriate that was. That little baby, who truly couldn't have comprehended the significance of this day, captured the feelings of all of us in his cry.

Each year on Yom Hashoah, I am reminded of our family friend, Max Krautler, who we drove ride to Kabbalat Shabbat services every week. He didn't have a car, so he depended on us to bring him to Synagogue. He was the first Holocaust survivor I ever met. When I first asked him to speak at my elementary school about his experiences, he refused. It was too hard for him to bring back all of that emotion and those awful experiences. Then, a couple of years later, he approached me. I have never been so interested in someone's life as I was in his. I always felt a special connection to "Grandpa" Max. I used to go to his house on the weekends just to spend time with him. I remember the first time he showed me his tattoo, his Nazi number. I will never forget you, Max, and the immense struggles you lived with your whole life.

At the end of the Shoah ceremony, one of my classmates told a story of two women from Hungary who met on the train to Auschwitz. They occupied the awful 3 day journey by getting to know each other. One of the two girls told the other she had a male friend back home who would be perfect for her. They vowed to meet back at her home town once the war was over and their hell was over.

While in the camp, one of the girls kept alive by the promise of meeting this new male friend. She also dreamed of being reaquainted with her new friend. After the war, she went back to Hungary to look for her friend. Miraculously, she found her friend, was introduced to the male friend, fell in love and married him. She today has 3 children, and many grandchildren. One of the granddaughters is the girlfriend of my classmate.

It is stories like this that help me to realize that we're still here, and we have so much hope for the future. It also reminds me how important Israel is for the Jewish people to survive. I may not always agree with what Israel does, and I may struggle with life in Israel at times. But the bottom line is that I am able to live in Israel, and this is a benefit I shall never take for granted. As long as Israel lives, we will never forget, and we will always remember.

“No one yet knows what awaits the Jews in the twenty-first century, but we must make every effort to ensure that it is better than what befell them in the twentieth, the century of the Holocaust.” - by Benjamin Netanyahu

Pesach in Belarus

Wow, where do I begin? Should I begin with my deep fears for this trip? I had no idea what to expect on our trip to the Former Soviet Union. I remember many things from my childhood, and there were many stereotypes from my childhood which kept coming back to my mind regarding the FSU. To be honest, I really haven't known many people from the FSU in my life. I do remember some people immigrating to my hometown (Columbia, SC) when I was in middle school. I specifically remember a very sweet man, Anatoly, who wound up working at my Synagogue and was like a grandfather to me in many ways. And, of course, I have several classmates from Russia and the Ukraine. Also, in Israel there are a large number of Israeli citizens from the FSU.

But, still, even with the programs we did to get ready for this trip, I really had many fears. After all, I had never used a translator before. Would I really be able to communicate with the communities? And, would I be able to lead a Seder for the first time in my life? I knew I wouldn't be alone as one of my classmates was with me in both of the small cities we traveled to. I guess I kept myself calm with the excitement I had with finally using some of the skills I have learned and aquired this year.

We arrived at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv with this same excitement and fear. Once we finally boarded our plane, we knew there was no turning back, and we really were going to Belarus. While I was excited, I was also quite sad. Since I've known Batya, I've never been away from her during Passover. And, I had never been in a different country than her. I knew I would really miss Carlie and Batya, but I'll write more about that in a bit.

Landing in Belarus, I looked out and saw foggy rain clouds. It wasn't that cold, but it wasn't warm either. We spent the first night in Minsk, and I was pretty excited because I knew that I had family from Minsk. I immediately felt a connection to Minsk. We were comforted when the Chief Rabbi of Belarus, a Reform Rabbi, met us at the airport. He had many interesting things to say to us as we took a van into the city:

"There are no terrorists on trains..."
"You might meet KGB...(Ka Ga Beh in Russian)"

That night we were amused to see a strip club, called "Texas," and a bowling alley in our hotel. Oh, and a Casino too. Really, why leave our hotel??? Actually, when we went to the supermarket after dinner, we found eclairs and other pastries for about 700 Rubels (which eqauls to less than 50 cents). The exchange rate was 2100 rubels to 1 dollar. So, for $100, I was able to have over 200,000 Rubels in my wallet! I felt rich for the first time in my life!!!

Anyway, we woke up very early the next morning, met our translator, Ilona (More about her later), and headed out to Polotsk. Here's where things started to get interesting. So, we had heard that people from the FSU love to drink, and especially love to drink Vodka. Well, this very nice man, our new friend, offered PJ and me sips from his Vodka - at 8:30 in the morning. Needless to say, we both took a taste, and that was it. 8:30 is WAY TOO EARLY to be drinking...

When we arrived in Polotsk, we were told we would be leading a Seder for the Elderly and leading Kabbalat Shabbat for the High School group, Netzer. We were excited and nervous at the same time. As you can see by my pictures (link to webshots on the right of the blog), we had a great time, and it was a lot of fun. The Netzer kids were very nice, and had so many questions about life in America and Israel. They had so much pride in their Judaism, and it was awesome to be even a small part of that. When we went to tour around Polotsk, they refused to let us go alone, and we had a great time with them! In Polotsk, we ate every meal at this "Cafe" that was inside a supermarket. The food was really good, and by the time we left Polotsk (in 2 days), we could order for ourselves! Oh, and I can't forget to tell you about the bowling alley right next to the supermarket. It was pretty good, and we bowled both nights we were in Polotsk! Oh, one more thing about Polotsk. When we were walking around Polotsk, we met this very nice Belarus woman. She had the largest fingers I have ever seen. She was about 4 feet tall, but her hands were gigantic!!!

So, I have to speak about our translator, Ilona. She really was very special. She was incredibly nice...her English was fantastic, and she was a tremendous amount of fun to be with. She taught us quite a bit of Russian, and we even taught her some English slang expressions. I hope I can stay in contact with her. She was awesome!!! Even though we are 12 years apart, I constantly referred to her as "Ilona our mother" because she really took great care of us!

On Sunday, we were off to the Cultural capital of Belarus, Vitebsk! Vitebsk was quite a bit larger than Polotsk, and our hotel overlooked the city square. It was really beautiful. We met a new friend, Stas, another person I hope to stay in touch with. He was with us the entire time we were in Vitebsk, and we had a great time with him. While we were in Vitebsk, I experienced the most interesting and maybe the most fun Seder I've ever experienced. They had microphones set up for the leaders of the seder right next to a synthesizer. They acted out the Pesach story with dancer, actors, and a "time machine" that took them back in time to experience the story. There was an Israeli named Boris who is actually from Vitebsk. He sang two Israeli Songs in Hebrew, and I really began to realize how much I missed and appreciated Israel.

Even though there have been times when I really felt uncomfortable here in Israel, I have realized how much I love Israel and will truly miss Israel when I leave. Israel is a part of who I am, and the experiences from this year have truly helped me to learn and grow more in 10 months than my previous 31 years. I also decided I didn't want to be away from Batya and Carlie for that long EVER again! I actually began to cry when Boris was singing because his song was all about returning home to Israel, and all I could think about was how lucky I am to be able to go home to Israel, and how much I missed my girls!

So, while we were in Vitebsk, we also led a Seder in a kindergarten. THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! It was really great to dance and sing with the kids. They were so inspiring, and they were so knowledgeable about Judaism. Returning to Minsk for two days was tiring but a lot of fun. We participated in a Cantorial Music Festival...and the community really appreciated us. We also were asked to lead a Seder for a college aged group. It was a little frustrating because we were all exhausted, but it was a great experience.

What have I learned from this awesome experience? The reasons why I want to be a Rabbi were reminded to me and confirmed to me. I truly love being Jewish, and the opportunity to lead others was educational, inspiring, and rewarding all at the same time. I only hope I am able to keep my relationship and connection with Belarus. I also hope to be able to return to these communities in the future. I end my blog with the "informal" way of saying goodbye in Russian -

P'ka!

Just some random thoughts

It truly is amazing how quickly life flies by. I remember a conversation I had with Batya about 16 months ago as we were beginning to think about how life would be in Israel with a small child. Granted, Carlie is a pretty calm kid, but she was still a baby, and we knew life would be hard, especially for Batya. Thank God we found the kindergarten at the YMCA, and Batya has been able to do things she wanted to do this year! And, it's been so good for Carlie. Her Hebrew is progressing so well. She even speaks more Hebrew than English. Just the other day when Batya asked her to put her bowl on the table, Carlie said, "not table, Mommy, Shulchan (Hebrew for Table)." Back to the conversation Batya and I were having...we were so excited and scared out of our minds at the same time. How would we get everything done we needed to do before we went? How would we figure out how to pay bills in Israel? How would we be able to take care of our financial and other responsibilities in the US while we were abroad?

I have always believed God held us in God's hands, and would help us along the way. Batya has always been more of a realist. She believes in God, for sure, and is deeply engaged Jewishly - I've actually been quite surprised at her interests in my studies this year - but she has always kept more of a "realist" belief toward life. While I am talking about things like b'sheret (fate), Batya is talking about coincidence. But, somehow, we come together and are able to get things done. Truth be told, I would be nowhere without Batya. Her deep understanding of who I am (which is quite difficult at times) and where I want to be in life keeps me in check. She is the first person to stick her neck out for me, and she never is anything but supportive. Even when we have arguments, she is coming from a place of support - something I sometimes have difficulty realizing until after the fact.

Here we are, 6 weeks before our return to the States, and these same conversations are beginning. How are we going to reenter our "normal" lives in the States - a place where we are comfortable, where we understand completely the language and culture? How will we get all of our loose ends tied up before we return? Somehow, our love and deep sense of family has and will continue to help us even through our most confused times.

I am going to Belarus - to Plotzk and Vitebzk - to help with Pesach programming for a week. We (myself and some of my classmates) leave on Thursday. While this is going to be an amazing experience, and I am incredibly excited, I am also weary of the fact that when I return we have 4 weeks to "get things done." This doesn't only apply to packing and school. We want to cherish every day we have in Israel, as we aren't sure of when we'll be back. Sure, I might be able to staff a Birthright trip in the future, but who knows when we'll come back as a family? Although this year has been difficult in some ways, it has been more rewarding than we could ever have imagined. We have grown as a family, and I have grown individually more in this year than in my whole life - spiritually, Jewishly, and personally.

We are excited to enjoy these last 6 weeks and take advantage of everything we are able to!

Shabbat Shalom!

Tabili Mayim!!!

Ok, for those of you looking at this title and wondering what the heck that means, I'll tell you. One way of "asking" (I put this in quotes because Americans asking and Israelis asking are two totally different things) for water is to say "Tevili Mayim." (pronouned Tu vee lee Mah yeem) As Carlie is going to a Hebrew speaking (and sometimes Arabic) kindergarten at the YMCA, she is speaking more Hebrew than English. Actually, the other day when Batya asked Carlie to place something on the table, Carlie responded, "Lo table, Shulchan." (Not table, table (in Hebrew).

Yesterday, Batya, Carlie and I drove to Eilat for a nice family vacation. The Israel Progressive Movement for Judaism (IMPJ) holds a bike ride to raise awareness for Progressive Judaism in Israel. The bike ride begins in Tel Aviv and ends in Eilat - a 5 day bike ride. So, along with our family vacation, we went down to cheer on the riders as they ended their ride. It was nice to see so many of my classmates participating.

Getting back to Carlie...we were having dinner at our hotel last night. Carlie finished her juice and wanted water. So, she started screaming at us and at everyone in the restaurant, "Tabili Mayim!" Now, as Carlie's Aba, I was very impressed with her Hebrew, and Batya and I both laughed. At the same time, we were immediately hushing her because it was kind of loud and quite rude. Several of the servers looked at us funny, and some giggled with us!

We had a yacht ride in the Gulf of Eilat last night with many of the riders. It was really nice...the weather is great here, and Carlie had a blast. I will post pictures up to our webshots page in the next couple of days. Today, we walked on the boardwalk in Eilat. It was really nice to just get out and be a family without any worries...and Carlie enjoyed the sun!

Next week, I'll be hiking with some classmates up North a bit. I am looking foward to getting out with some classmates, and enjoying nature!

Purim....I am sure you've already seen the pictures. Carlie's 2nd Purim, and first in Jerusalem, was a lot of fun. She really enjoyed being Minnie Mouse, and Batya and I had a great time too. It was really a spectacular sight to see so many people in costumes around Jerusalem. Not much else is going on. We are officially 8 weeks away from our return to the States. In just a few weeks, I'll be traveling to Belorussia with some classmates to lead Passover Seders in the FSU. It will be a great experience, and I am looking forward to it!

I'll try and get another blog up before the trip to the FSU, but I'll for sure have one after the trip!

Shabbat Shalom!